We all have a longing in our soul. Some call it anxiety, restlessness, or a lack of fulfillment. But what if this longing had a purpose? Not to harm you, but for good? What if the ache wasn’t something to fix, but something to be filled?

I’ve been a chaser for most of my life.

Settled never felt safe. The idea of contentment made me uncomfortable, almost like if I stopped chasing, I would miss something. Or worse, I might actually be happy, and then what?

Contentment felt like surrender. And I wasn’t ready for that.

So, I kept moving. I kept longing for more. I chased the next project. The new couch. The next big idea. A better routine. A more perfect body. I told myself, if I could just get there, then I would settle. Then I would finally feel peace.

But chasing became a cycle that trapped me in a strange comfort, living in my pain. I hated it, yet I found myself clinging to it, often creating it, because it felt predictable and that felt safe. And that’s when I realized I wasn’t chasing fulfillment. I was chasing control.

That’s why I see myself in the woman at the well. And why I believe God anchored John 4 over The Living Well. It is the very inspiration for this site and what I hope to help you with. To be a home where you can come and get filled. Not by striving. Not by self-improvement. But by Christ Himself.

Designed Longing

Words carry power. I’ve learned that some of the most sacred words, like longing, dependence, and surrender, have been misunderstood. We’ve understood and even lived them from the low side, leading to fearing these words.

On the surface, longing does look like dissatisfaction. But if you go a bit deeper, understanding the true design, longing is a holy tension. A yearning for or an inner stretching that is actually a gift, helping you not to settle for lesser things.

This longing was placed in us by God as a built-in reminder: You were made for more than this world can give.

Just as hunger signals the need for nourishment and thirst signals the need for water, longing signals the soul’s orientation toward something real and eternal. It’s not a design flaw but an invitation and reminder that we cannot fill ourselves.

If we could self-satisfy, if we could meet every need and calm every ache on our own, we would never go looking for Him. That’s the power of longing at work, the reminder that we are all dependent and connected.

So, while longing can be painful, something we would rather escape, it serves a purpose. You were not created to just “exist.” You were designed to belong, to live fully, connect deeply and be truly filled.

That’s exactly what we see in John 4 and the mission of The Living Well.

The Woman at the Well: A Framework for Our Longing

In the story of the woman at the well, as told in John 4, we see a woman who returns day after day to the same well, yearning for something more yet living unsatisfied. Many criticize her for having multiple husbands, but I believe the deeper issue runs far beneath these choices.

Deeper beyond our human eyes and into the space God wants to work – the root that deals with our identity and our need to belong, to feel whole, to connect. And in the short encounter we read about in John 4, we find that Jesus didn’t just offer her water. He touched each one of those longings of the human soul.

Here are 4 lessons we can learn from the woman at the well.

1. The Samaritan woman scheduled her day to avoid her deepest pains (longing to be known):

She scheduled her life around her pain, yet Jesus met her anyway.

“And he had to pass through Samaria. So he came to a town of Samaria called Sychar, near the field that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there; so Jesus, tired from his journey, sat beside the well. It was noon. A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria.” John 4:4-9

This Samaritan woman, who found herself drinking at the well with the Savior of the world, frequented this well at this hour on purpose. Samaria was a desert town, and the heat of the day was not the time to be filling up the jars of water.

She went to the well at the worst time of day to avoid being seen. Shame told her to hide, allowing the pain of her past to dictate her life.

Yet Jesus found her there.

I see so much of myself in her story. I relate to the woman who felt she didn’t measure up, who lived in her own brokenness, assuming she was too far gone to be seen or loved. Rather than confronting her reality, she arranged her life to avoid it. More for safety than for joy.

And yet, there Jesus was. Sitting by the well. Asking her for a drink, giving her space to be known just as she was.

The reality He reveals is clear:

• In God’s eyes, no one is too far gone.
• He has a purpose for each of us.
• He’ll never let us be alone.
• He is always right there.

The question remains: are you willing to engage Him? Are you willing to show up, even in your hiding, and let Him meet you?

2. She stayed with Jesus (longing to belong):

She stayed with Jesus because he was unfazed by her past. He brought comfort and presence into a place she likely thought was unapproachable, offering her a sense of belonging in a place that had previously rejected her.

If I had been in her shoes, with her history and shame, I probably would have turned and walked away the moment I saw Him. I might not have even engaged. But she didn’t run, she stayed. She didn’t hide, but she lingered and even asked questions. She let herself be present, conversing with Jesus:

• How can you ask me for a drink?
• Where can you get this living water?
• Are you greater than our father Jacob?

John 4:9-12 says: “The Samaritan woman said to him, ‘Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob?'”

I think she stayed because, deep down, she longed to be filled — not just with water, but with life, wholeness, and purpose. That longing pulled her forward, even when shame tried to hold her back.

Jesus met her longing fully. He didn’t shy away from her past; He saw her heart, her potential, and the beauty with which He created her. He offered her the living water that truly satisfies, proving that the soul’s thirst is meant for Him alone.

So I wonder: What would happen if you stayed a little longer? If you lingered in His presence, asking the questions that stir in your heart, even when it feels uncomfortable?

When you stay, you create the opportunity to be filled.

3. She received His filling (longing for identity):

Jesus offered the living water. And even more, he saw her fully, beyond the surface, beyond her past mistakes, and offered her a chance to be known for who she truly was.

She stayed with Jesus long enough to let Him meet her where she was. She didn’t just ask questions superficially, she inquired deeply, revealing her heart. And Jesus didn’t turn away. He met her and transformed her, changing her identity in an instant.

That cry in her heart, the anxiety, the unmet expectation, the unfulfilled stirrings, the sense that she didn’t measure up, all of it met God and was acknowledged. And he declared, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again.” (John 4:13-14).

When she asked, “Sir, give me this water so that I will not be thirsty…,” she was stepping into the recognition that her identity mattered to God.

The gift of Jesus is a guarantee. He always sees you, and he’s always with you. The challenge is on our side, will we receive Him and allow Him to define who we are? Receiving isn’t passive. It’s a daily choice to step into the fullness of our true identity in Him.

You are designed to crave this. You are designed to long for this soul-satisfying filling. When you receive it, everything changes, including your perspective, your peace, your sense of self, and even your desire to share this recognition with others.

4. She desired to go and do (longing to live purposefully):

This is perhaps the part that excites me the most. Let’s look at the passage:

“So the woman left her water jar and went away into town and said to the people, ‘Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did. Can this be the Christ?’ …Many Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, ‘He told me all that I ever did.’ So when the Samaritans came to him, they asked him to stay with them, and he stayed there for two days. And many more believed because of his word.” (John 4:28-42)

The woman didn’t just receive filling, she was energized and transformed. Her encounter with Jesus didn’t leave her stagnant. It ignited a longing to live out her purpose, to share the truth, and to step into the impact God designed her for.

Her testimony shows us that when we are truly known, valued, and filled, our longing for identity and purpose naturally moves us into action. She went from shame and hiding to boldly proclaiming the life-changing truth she had received.

The woman at the well is an example of love, truth, redemption, and acceptance. She reminds us that our deepest longings are meant to propel us into the life God created us to live, not just to satisfy us personally but to overflow into the world around us.

My Hope For The Living Well

This is the story I’ve prayed over for this space. That it would be a home of love, truth, redemption, and action. A place where you come not to chase another fix, but to be filled, so you can go and live your God-given purpose.

You were not designed to fill yourself from an empty cup. You were designed to receive and overflow. Let the longing in your soul remind you to return to the source of this – God himself – daily. Use this to propel you into the life you were designed for.

Creating a life well-lived is found in Christ alone. Let him do the work. Let him be your healer and your guide. Come back to him daily, for he is the living well, and He alone allows you to live well. 

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Through Christ, you can be filled up and find everything you need.

I struggled with trying to find myself and came up empty. Once I looked to Christ my world was flipped.

THIS blog post talks all about giving up finding myself and looking to Christ.

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